Today I feel...

...like a fatty. (Don't even start with me, MOM. You either Kenny Bergquist. Yes, I get it, Dano - "and you look like one too!")

I had a soda today. Well, currently am having a soda. What it is about this that makes me feel bad? I've been doing so well on Weight Watchers. And if you have been reading my personal blog (email me if you want it), you'll see all of the things I've decided not to eat for the sake of being healthy. You'll also see that I committed to only drinking water until my birthday. That all went down hill this week. I've been at my grandparents' house in Kay-Why since Friday, and have eaten everything I've wanted to eat. I feel like I had no self control. Though I know in my heart that deer meat is good for you and that everything I've been served this week hasn't been TERRIBLE for me (ie. organic apple juice, Caprisun, deer meatloaf, deer roast, homemade mashed potatoes, homemade EVERYTHING), I'm not practicing self-control. What is WRONG with me?

I think I'll attribute it to the fact that I haven't really had much of a quiet time this week. Sure, I blogged...a few DAYS ago. That's not spiritually sustaining. I think I'm starving spiritually and I'm trying to fix it physically. How's that for a confession? Well, I opened by Bible today to a random page (because those are sometimes the best quiet times) and I came to Isaiah 51:1. Well, if you mouse over that text, you can read it for yourself. I'll type it out anyway.

"Listen to me, all who hope for deliverance - all who seek the LORD. Consider the Rock from which you were cut, the quarry from which you were mined."

Wow. Think about those familial tapestries that people used to have. (Granted, I'm thinking of Sirius Black's wall from HP5-OotP) It's like...this is the cloth of our family, and it's what you're made of. Well, God's familial tapestry is made of ROCK. We were made in His image (Genesis 1:27). He mined us like jewels, dusted us off, put us through a rock tumbler, redeemed us and now we're pretty like He is. He pulled us out of our disgusting, filthy pit of sin, washed us in His precious blood and now we're white as snow. Sparkling clean in His eyes, while He holds us close to his heart. That is so beautiful.

I'm wondering...if I gave in to something like a soda, what am I giving in to spiritually? Because I'm not spending the time to see if something is healthy for me, I'm eating things that aren't healthy for me at all (whether I know it or not, it's all the same to the infamous scale). That's the same to God. Our sin is all equal in His sight - when we sin knowingly, I think it hurts Him more. Reverend Eppling said, "How do you think God feels about your sin? Let's put it this way - your sin killed His son. How do you THINK He feels?" Well, if you're a Christian and you're sinning just because you know you'll be forgiven, isn't that blasphemous? I'm not perfect, of course I sin. But it's something to think about. I read that we ask forgiveness to satisfy the guilt that we have when we sin, but isn't it wonderful to know that before we were even alive, Jesus forgave us for that very sin?

Don't take forgiveness for granted. Exercise self control. Remember the Rock from which you were cut and the quarry from which you were mined.